Russian Mothers' Day


Book: Read Last Witnesses: An Oral History of the Children of World War II by Svetlana Alexievich. 


Task #1: 3 People Walk Into the Bar

*in a dive bar on the borderland between Ukraine and Russia*

Boris, Donald, and Angela walk into the bar. Rudy, the bartender, smiles and says "It will be an honor to be your SERVER tonight. What will it be?"


Boris, unkempt as usual, asks for "that most British of drinks gin and tonic", Donald asks for a Diet Coke and the hamburger menu, and Angela quietly asks for a shot of vodka. 


Each gets their drink. Boris is hoping to get the party started, so he chugs his drink down as quickly as possible. Donald has to use both hands and shakily gets the glass to his mouth, spilling some on his too long red tie. Angela sips her drink. 


Five minutes later, Boris and Donald are out cold. Justin, the bouncer/security guard, walks in and drags the two sleeping men out to the van that will take them to an undisclosed site. The van driver, some Frenchman named Mac, is eager to get on the road and deliver "the goods". 


Angela watches Justin remove the men, then turns to Rudy the bartender. Rudy takes off the mask and Hillary pours a vodka for herself, one for Justin, and another for Angela. The three toast each other and down the vodka. 


Task #2: Royal Moonlights as a Commoner

I don't know if this counts, but I am going with Prince Harry of the UK. He served in the Royal Army in Afghanistan twice. 


" was taken to shield his identity. While modern combat gear hides many identifying features it was also necessary to hide where exactly the prince was serving. As such both the British and Canadian authorities placed a media blackout on Prince Harry's deployment information. This blackout was not respected by a German newspaper and an Australian magazine which lead to him being withdrawn from the front
lines. It was revealed later that while deployed he helped Gurkha troops repel an attack from the Taliban in Helmand Province.

Prince Harry would return to Afghanistan a few years later as an Apache helicopter pilot. Since attack helicopters are always priority targets it was determined Prince Harry's presence would pose no additional danger to his comrades. Making this an odd an example of 'anonymously standing out'." - The Maple Monarchists at


Task #3: Amber Room

*undisclosed site in Russia*

Mac knocks on the door to the "Amber Room" and tells the doorman that he has "the goods.". 


"Good bring them in. Their spots are over there," says doorman known as Schiffy. Mac gets two other men, known as Vicent the Fox and Just Joe to help him bring in the load. They lay the men carefully down in the space provided just as the men are coming to. 


Boris looks around and sees in he is in a beautiful room and with art and objects that would look stunning in his residence at No 10. Donald looks around and sees some hot babe he wants; rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he sees that hot babe is Ivana, his daughter. Soon everyone in the group has VR sets placed roughly on their heads by Schiffy and Just Joe.


"Gentlemen, thank you for joining us. You were the biggest VIPs on our guest list, so now that you are here, we can finally begin," the voice from the recessed speakers in the ceiling tells them. "What a fine group of incompetent, cruel human beings we have here tonight. I would call you evil, but evil tends to have some semblance of smarts behind it. You lot don't even have that semblance." The voice sounds somewhat familiar, graceful but powerful even in the quiet tone. There is the sound of high heels click on the gilded cement floor as a woman with microphone walks slowly from the shadows to the group.


"Don't worry though, we have your greatest hits uploaded to these individual VR sets. You will be able to relive the cruelest, ugliest moments of your respective lives and careers over and over again. You will not, however, you leave this room. Once you go mad and attack each other, well, that will be a shame. But your respective countries need to clean up your messes and move on. Probably by that time, no one will mourn your passing." As she finishes her instructions, she reaches the light - it is a black woman wearing a name tag that reads "Michelle". She gives the group a big smile and her, Schiffy, Just Joe, and Vicent the Fox leave the room, locking the door from the outside and pulling down the security gates in front of the doors. Then they walk to a waiting limo and their driver, Barry.


The End.