Book: Turns out the book I wanted to read for this doesn't come in a Kindle format. My eyes and head hurt too much for reading on my laptop. So I substituted We Are Never Meeting in Real Life by Samantha Irby, a comedy writer. Finished it yesterday.

Task #1: Airing of Grievances
1. Crazy (Crazy Ella #1) by Eve Langlais - absolutely ridiculous paranormal romance with such lazy, horrible handling of mental health and patients. 
2. Then Came You (Bradford Sisters #0.5) by Becky Wade - the gross partriarchal crap this book spews out makes me puke
3. The Hot One by Caroline Murnick - using her supposedly BFF's murder to make it about her and her love life. With friends like this, who needs enemies?
4. The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins - just a waste of time.
5. A Colony in a Nation - the Caroline Murnick of current race politics and institutions. 
Task #2: Battle of the Books
Sweet Valley Saga #3: The Fowlers of Sweet Valley
Sweet Valley Saga #4: The Patmans of Sweet Valley
In the first corner is the family saga of rich bitch Lila Fowler. Lila's family history starts with Lily, a rich aristocratic daughter who is rescued by one of her family's servants after the servants/townspeople rise up and kill her family and set her mansion on fire. After WWI, the action leaves France and settles in to Sweet Valley, moving all the way to where the events of Don't Go Home with John (Sweet Valley High #90) come into play. This book made me into a Francophile that lasted into my twenties. I still love Lila, probably more now than when I read this book as a kid. 
I highly recommend Double Love's podcast episode from last Christmas that is all about this book.
In the other corner is the family saga of rich brat 1Bruce1 Patman. His family origins start in England on a Downton Abbey-esque manor house and the spoiled daughter who just wants to bump uglies with the stable boy. There's the stage actress and the whitest cowboys turned factory men turned factory owners that led to Bruce. The Double Love is doing this book for this year's Christmas episode and I can hardly wait! 
So the winner - The Fowlers of course! There is actual history in her story, where Bruce's is just too white washed and soap opera-ery. 
Task #3: Dear Garner Bradford,
You suck. You never listened to what Sophie said when she talked about not wanting kids, you used your second wife's rape and murder to make yourself the victim/party to pity, you pawned your kids off on the Russian nanny anytime you could so you could have "me time", your business acumen is off the charts...and in the gutter, and then you go after an employee because she checks off your  mom's, preacher's,  I mean your list of must haves in the next wife. I'm just hoping your company is doing well enough to pay for your daughters' therapy. Again, you suck so much. 
Task #4: Skip